Live Love Learn

home again

2010-09-04T13:48:00.006-04:00

It has been almost exactly one week to the hour since we boarded a plane in Haiti to return home to Canada. It is an incredibly surreal experience to leave such a unique place and arrive a few short hours later in Miami airport. Haiti is hot and dangerous and smelly and distinct. It never lets you forget what it is - a country who's history is written in blood, lived with sweat, and sealed with tears.
But an international airport is slick and air-conditioned and clean and safe (sterile?). It is a maze of shiny hallways and grand atriums. The t-shirts in the gift shop inform you that you are in Miami or Toronto, but there is no reason to believe them, nothing to confirm their claims. If they sold Miami t-shirts in Toronto, I would be none the wiser. North American airports are built to impress, to make you think that they have it all together, that there is nothing there but beautiful scenery and happy people with well-paying jobs and smiling families. Haiti has no such ambition. Or maybe it does, but the cracks are harder to patch up. Earthquakes tend to do that.

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Over the past week Cassandra and I have been trying to process exactly what we learned from our experience in Haiti. It was different from anything we have ever known. Sometimes it already seems like our time there was just a long dream because it is so far removed from our everyday experience. We both went back to work this week, and everything is already so normal that it requires effort to really think back and reflect on our experiences. It's a strange phenomenon which is actually one of the most difficult things about coming back. Everyone always told me that the most difficult thing about going away is coming back, but we have found it incredibly easy. Instead of being angry about the injustice of the world and how I have so much while millions have so little, I find myself simply being immensely thankful for this beautiful country. I am better able to empathize with people who live in poverty because I have seen how they live first hand, but I do not feel guilty for the abundance that I enjoy. Part of me feels as though I should. But life in Haiti is so different from life here that I find it almost impossible to compare them, as if they exist entirely separate from each other. I did not expect this feeling, so I am trying to deal with that right now.

Since our return many people have asked "so, what did you learn?" or "did it change your life?" These are very difficult questions that I probably won't have a good answer for for months and maybe years. I learned a lot about life and survival - and about death and destruction. I learned about the power of the Gospel, but also the power of Satan and of evil. I learned about wealth and poverty, about love and selflessness but also about corruption and greed.

The thing that stands out and that really surprised me is the incredible challenges that face missionaries every single day. It probably shouldn't have surprised me, but I was blown away by how difficult it is to do what they do. Language barriers, racism, persecution, discouragement, loneliness, clulture shock. Everyday living even presents a challenge. Simple things like grocery shopping and going to the hardware store present frustrating challenges that can sometimes easily suck up an entire afternoon. Everything is either agonizingly slow or much too fast. I met a Christian Reformed Pastor named Zac who summarized this well. He has been in Haiti for about 5 years. Early in his ministry he made friends with a young Haitian. This young man showed great promise, and he was growing into a strong leader in the church. Four years spent investing in this young man. The ground shook for 35 seconds, and he was gone. 4 years of investment, 35 seconds of horror - and now what?

So what did I learn? The answer is a question: "What is Love?" This is the question that was ringing in my head for most of the trip, and will continue to affect the way that I live and do ministry. It's a simple question, but it takes on a new meaning when you are in the midst of such obvious need. My first reaction when a child asks me for a dollar is to give it to them. That makes sense right? Doesn't God call me to give this child a "cup of cold water in His name"? What about when secondary students from Adoration ask for money for food or a prescription or a tap-tap (taxi). Sometimes it is the loving thing to do. Sometimes it is a genuinely good thing to give money to these people so that they can start to get off their feet or feed their families.
The problem comes when they keep coming back. Day after day, they come and ask you for money. Is it the loving thing to hand them money every day? Or are you simply creating dependency on foreign aid? And what happens when there are enough foreign aid groups working in the country that it is more profitable to go from agency to agency asking for money than it is to work for a day? Is the world really showing love for Haiti when it pours billions of dollars of aid money into the country? I'm not saying that aid is bad or that money should not be given to Haitians. I'm only saying that it takes a whole lot of wisdom to figure out how to use that money without hurting Haiti more than helping.
If these questions interest you, I strongly recommend reading a book called When Helping Hurts by Brian Fikkert and Steven Corbett. They have really helped me work through some of these questions, and presented some solutions that are very challenging and very hopeful.

So, did it change my life? I don't know. I probably won't know for years. I got a glimpse of what it is like to live in a foreign country and do mission work. I don't know yet if I have caught a passion for it or if I have been forever turned off of it. Maybe both.

And that is where I stand now - caught in this weird tension. Tension is a fitting place to end this post, because tension is a word that describes Haiti well. Between the Kingdom of God and the kingdom of satan. Between white and black. Between rich and poor. Between my own desires and the call to self-sacrifice. Between love and what appears to be love. Between life and death. Between truth and lies.

Thank you for your prayers and support before, during, and after our trip. It was an absolute privilege, and a beautiful opportunity. We are praying that God will use this experience to impact us and to keep teaching us about His will for our lives.

shiny faces, dirty places

2010-08-19T16:56:00.007-04:00

One of the hardest things to get used to is the guns. And the walls. The U.S. and the Canadian Armies have left for the most part, but the UN is still here - pretty much permanently, I think. But there are still security guards all over the city, carrying ugly black shotguns. Every house has big concrete walls around it, with razor wire all along the top. It's strange because it doesn't feel unsafe. The people I see on the street look harmless - even docile. But I guess empty stomachs make people do some crazy things.

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That might not be the best way to begin a blog post that is supposed to make my mom feel like everything is wonderful and we are always perfectly safe. It's really hard to describe the situation here in Haiti. Things are safe and calm, and Randy and Karen's house is a haven - what with the guard dogs and the razor wire. But behind their new house, less that 100ft from where I type is a huge tent city. I have no idea of the danger that those people are in each night. Theft and rape are huge problems in the tent cities - and there are lots of them - they are everywhere. Not to mention the lack of food.
One night Randy and I climbed on the roof to take a look at the mountains and the city. One man stood in the tent city looking at us. He shouted "hey man, we need food!" That's the way things are in Haiti. Everywhere you go, you are reminded that people need food. Food for their bellies, and food for their souls. This is a tough place to live.

This is the view from Randy and Karen's roof. The top one is the back left corner, and the top one is the front. Quite a contrast! It's a beautiful country.

---
So, a little update on what we have been doing. We've been very busy. There are so many things to do, people to meet, places to go. Randy and Karen and Maia have been awesome, giving us whirlwind tours of Port-Au-Prince, and making us feel really at home. Even Maia is starting to really like having us around, because we are more tolerant of her misbehavior. She is one busy little girl.

For the first week we were here, my big job was teaching Bible at Adoration Christian School, which is the school that Randy and Karen are in charge of. I taught grade 3 and grade 5 for 4 days. It was a pretty interesting and very challenging, because for the first time I had to work through a translator. It was also a big challenge to teach the story of the battle of Jericho to children who live surrounded by walls - walls that fell down around them not so long ago. I had lots of support from Randy and the teachers at the school, so I think it went well. I also had an opportunity to teach at Friday afternoon youth group at the church. I thought that Randy made it sound like 6 or 7 teens would show up and we would study around some tables. Much to my suprise, there were about 30 teens there! And they sat in pews! We were preachin' it, brother. It turned out great though. Randy and I preached about the three enemies that are against us that hinder us from following God. They are Satan, Ourselves, and the world. We emphasized that the only way to fight these enemies is with the Holy Spirit in Christ Jesus, that we are unable to do it on our own. It was a huge privilege to be able to encourage those teens in their walk with Christ and point them toward Him. Here is a picture of me teaching Grade five, and a picture of the classrooms.

Cassandra has been busy as well. She has been helping Karen with a whole lot of office work. Last week was the last week of classes, so there is a whole lot of end of year stuff to finish up. She has also been getting a crash course in the Creole words for basic school supplies, because she is in charge of the little shop that the school runs where kids can buy pencils, pens, and paper.
Karen also really likes having her around because she is amazing with Maia, just like she is amazing with every kid in the universe.
The day that we arrived in Haiti, Randy and Karen finalized a deal with a new landlord, so the day after we arrived Cassandra and Karen were busy packing up the old house. We moved into the new place last Saturday. Cassy did a TON of work to make that happen. The move has actually taken a lot of time. I should also mention for my mother's benefit that the move is the reason she has not heard from us...we had no internet until this afternoon!

Other than that, we have been doing a lot of driving around, fixing things at the school, problem solving, visiting people, babysitting, etc.

On a side note, getting anything done in Haiti takes about 4 times longer than it does in Canada - this is not an exaggeration. You can image how much work moving is. The roads are terrible - a moving van is out of the question. The average speed on Randy's truck is 4.4 km/h. Seriously, it has a thing on the dash that tells you. The roads are always washed out, so you simply can't go any faster. I can't even describe how bad the roads are - you wouldn't believe it.

In any case, that should bring whoever is reading this roughly up to speed. Please keep praying for us. It is really really hot here. Seriously. We don't have hot in Canada. Canada is the land of permanent winter. But all joking aside, please pray about that. Cassandra in particular is having a hard time with the heat - it often makes her nauseous and exhausted. She is a real trooper though.
Also pray that we will be able to communicate and connect with some of the kids at the school - it has been really tough with the language barrier. It's really tough to step out and get to know kids when you can't talk to them.
And pray that we will be bold to live out and teach the Gospel. Pray that we will have wisdom to know how to love the people here without making their problems worse, which has so often been the case with Christian mission. We see the affects of that a lot here. Pray for Haiti.

we're not in Canada anymore.

2010-08-06T21:09:00.003-04:00

Our flights were great. The view from 38,000 feet is pretty incredible.

I am very tired, so I am going to keep it short. We are doing well, we feel a bit overwhelmed - there is a lot of new things to look at and take in. But we are alive, and we know that we are in God's hands.

Haiti is different than anything I have ever felt or experienced. I'll try to explain more in the future.

farewell, North America

2010-08-05T15:43:00.002-04:00

well, we're off.

This blog might (finally) see some action in the next few weeks, because we will be in Haiti, and it is traditional for North Americans to blog about their experiences in distant lands.

this morning I woke up

2010-01-07T17:08:00.002-05:00

and that is incredible.

i need to take it

2009-10-23T22:38:00.002-04:00

So if you ever decide to watch the Coen brother's film Fargo by yourself while your wife is away for the weekend, I have some advice for you.

Don't do it.

God counts by ones

2009-10-19T19:52:00.004-04:00

Some thoughts from Stephen C. Barton, whom I discovered today, on the parable of the lost sheep found in Luke 15:3-7.

"Taking now the parable from Luke, there are several other observations to be made that deepen our appreciation of it. First, there is the apparent recklessness of the shepherd in leaving the ninety-nine other sheep "in the wilderness" (of all places!) to go in search of just one lost sheep. There is a lack of a sense of proportion here that is surprising and almost shocking. But God's grace is like that. It does not fit into our ordinary patterns of accounting. Each sheep is so valuable that the shepherd risks the well-being of the entire flock in order to find it. The concern for the lost is emphatic. And that is a feature that highlights a profound point about divine accounting - that is that God counts by ones."

big text

2009-10-01T12:24:00.001-04:00

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best day ever

2009-09-22T08:44:00.002-04:00

I found a pair of brand new, never-before-worn socks in the bottom of my drawer.

marriage

2009-09-11T12:24:00.004-04:00

A few weeks before I got married, my friends threw a tool party for me, and gave me hundreds of dollars worth of awesome tools. Socket sets, ratchets, wrenches, screwdrivers, grinders, jigsaws, tons of stuff. I can build pretty much anything, given the right materials and a bit of time.

Ironic that I would end up putting together all of my furniture with a couple of these.

Camp #2

2009-07-07T16:11:00.001-04:00

I gave a sheep a haircut.

Camp

2009-06-24T13:53:00.001-04:00

It's good to be back.

in case you/I forgot #2

2009-06-18T22:28:00.002-04:00

You and I don't have a leg to stand on without Jesus Christ.

I am constantly trying to earn my salvation and righteousness. I tell myself "do this, do that, it will make Jesus love you more. Sure, you are saved by grace through faith, but some goods works sure couldn't hurt to earn me a few extra points could it?"

Instead of accepting God's gift of grace, I re-enslave myself by trying to justify myself on my own terms.

"I do believe! Help me over come my unbelief" (Mark 9:24)

a second guess

2009-06-09T17:59:00.003-04:00

Is choosing not to make solid plans for the future an act of faith or one of irresponsibility?

in case you forgot

2009-06-01T22:42:00.002-04:00

life is beautiful.

so are you.

don't you ever forget it.

no title

2009-05-28T12:07:00.000-04:00

it's a musical journey (spoken with an irish accent)

2009-04-21T23:22:00.001-04:00

I'd like to take this opportunity to say that after a long and painful separation, music and I have fallen deeply in love again. I hope we have a long and happy life together.

(If you make it past 1:15, you'll never look back. I promise.)

even Wikipedia

2009-02-17T18:44:00.002-05:00

source: faith-theology.com

the internet

2009-02-10T20:45:00.001-05:00

Such an amazing tool, and such an incredible time waster.

A Lowenbrau meditation

2008-10-30T23:46:00.003-04:00

It's late, and there is a glass of Lowenbrau Original on my desk. Dylan is talking about Erick Von Schmidt, then singing his words, but they are not really his anymore. They belong to Dylan. A folk song is anyone's song, I suppose. The voice of the people, kind of like an independent newspaper, but with more interesting writing.

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"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart by pleasing to you, O LORD my Rock and my Redeemer." - Psalm 19:14

This verse has been such a comfort to me over the past week. Lately I've been struggling with my place in academia, trying to find a grounding point. It is so easy to get completely bewildered among all the "hollow and deceptive philosophies" that are presented, even in a Christian university. I find it a constant temptation to separate the spiritual from the academic, to fall into dualism. This verse helps me to find footing and to invite Christ to be the Lord of my mouth and my heart.

Are the meditations of my heart pleasing to you, oh God? Transform and renew my mind so that I can use the knowledge that I gain and turn it into wisdom, that I might be useful in your Kingdom. As I go about the daily tasks that you have given me, let me do so with bare feet, recognizing the burning bushes that show your intimate presence in this world.

a comment on the economic crisis in the United States of America

2008-10-08T21:10:00.004-04:00

Is it naive of me to say that economic downturn would be a good thing for North American culture? Maybe then we would have to start caring about people and real life more than money.

Just a thought.

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Why is it that even though I spend so much of my energy trying to free myself from this consumerist culture the thought of economic uncertainty still scares me? I'll be one of the first people to tell you that money does not matter at all, but the headlines still give me shivers.
Maybe this world has more of a grip on me than I thought.
Maybe I'm a loud, obnoxious, self-righteous liar who can only see the materialistic habits in everyone else around me and not in myself.
Maybe I actually do care about all that stuff I swore I don't care about.
Only God knows...I'm sure He'll let me know somehow.

Tuesday October 7, 10:21 PM

2008-10-07T22:18:00.003-04:00

As my two good friends Ben and Ben have both pointed out on several different occasions, my previous post has become somewhat hypocritical over the course of time. The fact that I really don't have anything to say about this situation makes me question the validity of having this blog.

love,
Ryan

p.s. and here we have an example of a blog post with no other purpose but to occupy space on the internet...if that is possible. Does the internet have space? What is space?

the blog crawls on

2008-08-27T18:05:00.004-04:00

So the summer is almost over, and the time has come for all the blogers to crawl back into their long pants and wool socks and warm up to the light of their laptops for hour upon contemplative hour. Well, the time is here, but not many blogers are crawling out.
Blogs are going the way of the dinosaur these days. Our lives are only getting busier, and thanks to a little social networking site called Facebook people just don't seem to have any time anymore to share their mind with the world. Or maybe we are slowly realizing that we often just don't really have anything interesting to say. Whatever the case, I am going to attempt to keep the blogging up this fall/winter, becase it helps me sort things out and allows me to stand on a soapbox in a small way - which is something I sometimes need to do for my own sanity.

---

I had planned to right a post talking about what I learned this summer, but the more I think about it the more difficult it seems to put into words.
I think much of what I learned is contained in the story of Moses and the burning bush in Exodus 3. To summarize:

"I am the God of you father, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob...and I will be with you."

lies

2008-08-05T09:18:00.002-04:00

Time + Money = Product
Time + Money = Product
Time + Money = Product
Time + Money = Product
Time + Money = Product
Time + Money = Product
Time + Money = Product
Time + Money = Product
Time + Money = Product
Time + Money = Product
Time + Money = Product
Time + Money = Product

When the product is people, it never works.

thinly veiled

2008-06-03T18:38:00.002-04:00

I need to stop getting down about the lies that the world tells me and get excited about the truth that God has shown me.

Have I ever mentioned that I love truth?

It speaks for itself

2008-05-19T00:04:00.002-04:00

"Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
'Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?'" - Luke 6: 44-46

a friend in need is a friend indeed

2008-05-17T16:29:00.005-04:00

And I am that friend. Thanks for hanging out with me and talking even though you are incredibly busy and exhausted from your labour. You know who you are.

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I wonder if being this busy and tired is the way things are supposed to be. I wonder if I should continue to push myself to do things and keep myself busy even if I don't want to. Is this what life is actually like? I keep thinking that one day I will slow down. I'll stop being involved in so many thing and then I will be less busy and have more time to relax. I'm not sure that I want more time to relax. I'm not even sure I know how to relax.

"Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy."

a pencil and nail gun

2008-05-15T21:36:00.003-04:00

This post has been a long time in coming. The last post I made was on April 24...it's now May 15th. There a variety of different reasons for this lack of activity which I won't get into because that would be terribly boring.

The last couple of weeks I have been working for Tim Kieft. We put the trim around windows and porches. It's pretty fun. The work is decent, but the guys I work with are really great. We have a really good time laughing and joking around and throwing stuff at each other. It's really cool having a job where you can work from 7:00 in the morning until 6:30 at night and not be mad about doing the same thing again the next day. That kind of summer job is tough to come by.

One thing I find frustrating about working such long hours is that it is really tough to find time to be alone and to be quiet with the Lord. It's so easy to just get into the routine of work and sleep and just go with it, without putting any really effort into prayer or Bible study. I'm really glad that God is more faithful than I am.

stuff that I love #1

2008-04-24T13:55:00.003-04:00

justice & truth.

the weather outside is frightful

2008-04-16T14:59:00.003-04:00

So it is halfway through the first exam week at Redeemer, and I have written one exam so far. I don't have another one until Friday, but I am determined not to let the time go to waste, so my day so far has been spent sitting here in the library.

Well, that is a lie. I couldn't resist the beautiful weather outside, so Ben,Ben, Willem and I went outside to play some Wall Ball in the parking lot, closely followed by some candy eating in the foyer after which about 20 minutes was spent playing what we quickly and affectionately dubbed "rainbow soccer". Factor some lunch into the equation, and we spent about 3 hours running around outside making fools of ourselves and enjoying each other's company.

I didn't get much studying done, but it doesn't really matter.
The books will always still be here when I get back, but opportunities to play with my friends won't be.

2008-04-03T21:42:00.000-04:00

who do I think I am?

not very good

2008-03-31T23:10:00.003-04:00

I keep writing things or having ideas to put on this blog, and then I realize a few short minutes later that they are really not very interesting.
This is a good example:

Proverbs 20:9

2008-03-25T11:47:00.001-04:00

"Who can say, 'I have made my heart pure; I am clean from my sin?'"

when the saints go marching in

2008-03-24T15:25:00.007-04:00

So my blog has been rather post-free as of late. There are a couple of reasons, but this is one of the culprits: The Rule by St. Benedict. It's all about how to live a life of aceticism in a monastery and thereby achieve union with God. It's incredibly interesting, I'll probably post more about it once my presentation on the subject is over.

Below is a picture of the Dar Mar Antonios monastery in Egypt, the oldest Christian Monastery in the world. It doesn't have any entrances...everything that comes in has to be hauled over the wall with ropes.
I am truly impressed at the efforts of monks to be pure and Holy. I know there are some flaws in the theology behind the concept, but I can't help but be excited at their commitment to the lifestyle.

I tried to make a pun out of this but I couldn't think of a good one.

2008-03-13T18:14:00.003-04:00

I was going to post something about how it seems like time is passing very quickly these days, but I couldn't find the time.

ironic

2008-03-05T17:03:00.003-05:00

"I'd rather be dead than singing 'Satisfaction' when I'm forty-five."
- Mick Jagger

the pleasure is all mine

2008-03-01T16:07:00.004-05:00

There is a certain enjoyment that I receive from sitting down and writing a paper, reworking and rewording until I have something good and hopefully thought provoking. Words are very beautiful things. I don't even care if I can't think of anything original, it's is a pleasure to put thoughts together in a coherent order.
---

In other news, I think pictures are nice things to put on blogs. Spice things up a little, if you know what I mean.

cereal killer

2008-02-28T20:27:00.001-05:00

I'm pretty sure this is the best marketing campaign of all time:
Advertising that makes fun of advertising. Brilliant.

backyard mission

2008-02-16T23:37:00.003-05:00

Starting tomorrow (Sunday) evening I am going to Hamilton for a week long mission trip with around 20 other Redeemer students, working with several different agencies in the area. I'm really excited about this opportunity to get more involved with the city and become more aware of the opportunities to serve. I think it is one of the best mission trips around because it doesn't involve going to really far away places and spending huge amounts of money on plane tickets etc. It's where I live, and I get to serve right here. Who knows, it may open the door for more long terms service in the future.
It's going to be really challenging and exciting. I'd appreciate your prayers for me, for our group, and for the people that we come into contact with. I'm leading a small group of 5 people which means I'm in charge of getting us to the job site each day and motivating and encouraging them, so please pray that I will be able to lead them in strength and in truth and that I will be organized and energized enough to build strong relationships with them.

By the way, if you are wondering why we are going on a mission trip to Hamilton, you should probably spend more time hanging out downtown. You'll figure it out real quick.

and another thing about education...

2008-02-11T20:41:00.001-05:00

What an incredible blessing! I get to sit around and learn things. That's my job. I think about stuff. How crazy is that?
Some people don't even get to drink clean water. I get to sit around and listen to people tell me about how awesome God's creation is.

Why?

Wednesday, February 6, 2008 - 4:35 pm

2008-02-06T16:35:00.000-05:00

As a homeshooler, I never had much opportunity to enjoy snow days. Years 1-12 were spent being educated in the same place that I lived, so the rules of snow days never applied. Sometimes in elementary school my mom would let us have the day off anyway so we could run around and play in the snow, but my entire highschool career was completed without a single official snow day.
I'm not mentioning this because I want to complain. I wouldn't trade my homeschooled years for anything. In fact, I feel that I can appreciate a day off all the more now that I am in university because they are not something I have experienced in the past. Today, for example, a mid-term was rescheduled because the school was closed. This is an entirely new experience for me. Imagine - postponing a major test just because of a little bit of snow! It seems ridiculous, but it is a welcome break, and it gives me a really great opportunity to catch up with some studying - back at home where I started in the first place.

Education is important, it makes a man complete

2008-01-31T21:56:00.000-05:00

But everything I learned in school I learned again on the street.

---

Sometimes I think really crazy things. Questions and ideas and questions about those ideas will be swirling around in my head and consuming my waking moments, which tend to be longer because I can't sleep because I am thinking constantly. This makes me really tired, which makes it more difficult to think, which makes me think more, which makes me sleep less. It's a vicious cycle.

Lately I've been thinking about the Bible, and that I should probably start taking it a whole lot more seriously.
I've been thinking about relationships. You really shouldn't mess around with them because they can really hurt. I just wish I could do something about it.
I've been thinking about disappointment. Does it make sense to be disappointed? God always has a better idea. Consider it pure joy my brethren...
I've been thinking about the city of Hamilton. It's really ugly. It scares me. I think i'm in love with it.
I've been thinking that I need to read more books and start studying things more, because I have no idea what is going on.

love,
Ryan

a light to the nations

2008-01-18T22:46:00.001-05:00

Being a light to those around us doesn't mean not doing things that unbelievers do - it means doing things that Christians do.

that means alot

2008-01-09T15:21:00.000-05:00

So lately I've been noticing a lack of encouragement and uplifting, thoughtful messages on my blog. I've decided not to blog anymore until I have something real to post. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next month, maybe next year. Hopefully not never.
I say this out of a renewed realization of the power of words and the duty that every Christian has to be sure that everything flowing from his or her mouth (or keyboard) builds others up and directs their thoughts toward the Father of heavenly lights.
I hope that in the future you will find this blog to be encouraging and more purposeful.

love,
Ryan

conversations

2008-01-03T13:21:00.001-05:00

Dear Everyone I have met in the last 4 days.
Hi, how are you? That's nice. I had a really nice Christmas/New Years, thanks for asking, how was yours? That's nice. Great, well, seeya later!

love,
Ryan

peace out school, peace out exams

2007-12-15T18:30:00.000-05:00

Heloooooooooo Christmas break!

love,
Ryan

live, love, learn

2007-12-10T13:10:00.000-05:00

And so it begins...

get your fash on

2007-12-08T10:45:00.000-05:00

toothpastefordinner.com

Colossians 2:6-23

2007-11-30T12:11:00.000-05:00

"Love God and do whatever you want"
- St Augustine

best birthday present of all time

2007-11-28T21:59:00.001-05:00

that's ridiculous!

2007-11-26T23:12:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I was blessed to be able to lead a youth conference at my church along with the rest of the Youth Group board. It was crazy. We planned everything for 130 people, but I never really expected that many people to actually show up!
Anyway, it was incredibly fun and it was a true blessing to see that many people having a good time.

In other news, exams are in 2 weeks! That's ridiculous!

love,
Ryan

You have searched me and you know me

2007-11-23T11:40:00.000-05:00

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."
- Philippians 3: 7-11

the rest is blissful

2007-11-19T14:38:00.000-05:00

Weekend. Drive. Eat fast food, feel gross but love it anyway. I forgot my guitar. Drive. I don't understand knowing/the Bible. Run around, act crazy. Glowsticks. Singing. Sleepovers. Glowsticks. Singing. Try to understand knowing/the Bible. Talk. Drive. Walk. Drive. Coffee. Discussion. "Spur one another on to love and good deeds." Family. Birthdays. Loud music. Study. Sleep.

Sometimes I do so much stuff that I can't even remember what I did the day before. Sometimes I forget that I love doing stuff. Sometimes I forget that doing some stuff isn't as important as doing other stuff. Sometimes I regret things.

love,
Ryan

spring is in the mail, fall is in the air.

2007-11-15T14:25:00.000-05:00

Today, Scott and I borrowed rakes from the maintenance room at school, made a huge pile of leaves in the quad and jumped in it.

love,
Ryan

if you want to kiss the sky, you better learn how to kneel (on you knees boy)

2007-11-14T13:27:00.000-05:00

"I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing"
I Timothy 2:8

"Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker;"
Psalm 95:6

"for dominion belongs to the LORD and he rules over the nations. All the rich of the earth will feast and worship; all who go down to the dust will kneel before him—those who cannot keep themselves alive. Posterity will serve him;future generations will be told about the Lord."
Psalm 22:28-30

I cannot stand in the presence of God. Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker. Get down on your knees and worship God with your entire body.

love,
Ryan

she's a jar with a heavy lid

2007-11-13T14:37:00.000-05:00

Dear Reader:

You may have noticed that my last few posts have been much shorter and more frequent than they have ever been before. That's because I am starting a new blog experiment. I'm trying to write at least one post a day (excluding Sunday, that is a day of rest). The point of this is to force myself to think of things that struck me throughout he day and express them in a short, succinct way, and I hope it will make sense to you.
In fact, I'm trying to apply this principle to my whole life. I think I need to slow down a bit, take some time each day to reflect on what God has been saying to me throughout the day. Hopefully, my blog has been helping you and will continue to help you do the same.

Love,
Ryan

Stephane Dion

2007-11-10T17:12:00.001-05:00

“For children, poverty is about pretending you forgot your lunch, being afraid to tell your mother that you need gym shoes. It means being sick for every class trip and saying, ‘Sorry, I can't come,' to invitations to friends' birthday parties.”

- Stephane Dion, leader of the Liberal Part of Canada

---
Dear Stephan Dion:

No, it isn't.

love,
Ryan

p.s. read this article if you want context for this post.

the sun and the moon

2007-11-09T10:46:00.000-05:00

You are made in the image of God.

love,
Ryan

a life lesson

2007-11-07T22:03:00.000-05:00

Word on the street is that Radiohead is the best band in the world.

love,
Ryan

a life post

2007-11-05T16:29:00.000-05:00

Sometimes when it is cold outside I like to lie on my bed with the windows open really wide until I get so cold that I am shivering, and then I put the covers on and slowly warm up again until I fall asleep.

love,
Ryan

nothing important

2007-11-03T17:37:00.000-04:00

Hazelnut coffee is one of those things that you drink once and you think it is amazing but then you try it again and you remember that really actual coffee is much better.

a little with righteousness.

2007-10-26T10:03:00.000-04:00

The last two month spent studying at Redeemer University College have been very good for me. While at times it is stressful and labor intensive, it is good to be challenged and to stretch my mind, discovering new things and learning more about God and His creation. I've learned about the Bible, I've learned about history, I've learned about society, I've learned how to keep myself healthy, I've learned how to read, I've re-learned that I am supposed to love people, I've been refreshed, I've learned about myself.

I've met a lot of extremely interesting and passionate people. There is something going on at Redeemer that cannot be easily defined. There is something in the air, a vibrancy of the people there that humbles, encourages, and thrills you all at the same time. God is at work in the hearts of the people at Redeemer, chipping away at their hard exteriors, shaping them and making them into His tools.

We talk about social injustice and sweat shops, about the environment, about reaching out in our communities. How do we deal with the Third World (Or the "two-thirds" world as the missionary Viv Grig has taught me to call it.)? What is the Christian response to the issues that challenge our world in such a monumental way? How can we be relevant in todays culture? How are we different and how are we actively pursuing truth and justice?

It has been very encouraging for me to be among people who feel the same way and don't hesitate to challenge me on my beliefs and opinions. It would be ignorant of me to suggest that we are the only Christians who think about these issues. But the more I talk about it with people, the more I am confronted by the church communities wide-spread ignorance or worse yet indifference of these issues. What does this say to the world? How can we attract people to the Church in North America if our lifestyles look exactly the same as the world around us? We make ourselves irrelevant.

Now I think I'm going to have to justify a few things here. One could argue that we are different from the world. We don't work on Sundays and go to Church once or twice instead. We don't swear. We don't go to strip clubs. We don't watch crappy movies (for the most part). We don't have wild parties (for the most part). We give some money to the poor. We don't have sex with each other.
Sure, those things are wonderfully things to do. I don't want to belittle them at all, they are all very admirable and we should continue to practice them. I am convinced, however, that our lives should be much more different then they are. We are set apart for holiness.

When I express desire to live differently, to be a truly conscientious buyer, to reduce my environmental impact, to rely completely on God to provide and simply be a tool in His hands and go wherever and do whatever He calls me to do, my passion is largely dismissed by the older generation as youthful idealism and somewhat foolish. They say that I'll grow up one day and recognize that I can't change the world, that my effort will not make a difference. Once I get a family that I have to provide for I will bow to the pressure and live like the rest of North America, shopping at Wal-Mart and saving up for my next vacation.
I hope I never do. I pray I never turn a blind eye to the oppression that my lifestyle is creating. Maybe I never will make a difference, but at least my conscience will be clear.
The Bible speaks very passionately about oppression and the judgment that awaits those who turn a blind eye and participate in it:

"Better a little with righteousness
than much gain with injustice."
- Proverbs 16:8

"learn to do right!
Seek justice,
encourage the oppressed. ^[a]
Defend the cause of the fatherless,
plead the case of the widow."
-Isaiah 1:17

"Woe to those who make unjust laws,
to those who issue oppressive decrees,

2 to deprive the poor of their rights
and withhold justice from the oppressed of my people,
making widows their prey
and robbing the fatherless.

3 What will you do on the day of reckoning,
when disaster comes from afar?
To whom will you run for help?
Where will you leave your riches?

4 Nothing will remain but to cringe among the captives
or fall among the slain.
Yet for all this, his anger is not turned away,
his hand is still upraised."
- Isaiah 10:1-4

There are many more examples from Isaiah that speak about the terrible judgment that awaits those who oppress the poor. I don't think many people in North America realize that this is exactly what we are doing by participating in our consumerist culture.

The most convicting passage I found comes from James 5:1-6.

1"Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. 2Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. 3Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. 4Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. 5You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.^[a] 6You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you."

I want to be different from the world around me. I want to live in a way that does not oppress my brothers and sisters in India and Africa and South America. I want to truly be a steward of God's creation, being sensitive to the environment. I want to use the resources that God has given me to serve Him in everything I do, in everything I buy, in everything I spend my time on. I am not my own. Nothing I own is mine.
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

http://www.toolness.com/nike/index.html

no title

2007-10-22T18:49:00.001-04:00

Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues with injustice.
Proverbs 16:8

now for something completely different

2007-10-17T23:39:00.000-04:00

This is a topic that is very real to me right now.

Which is better:

A) Staying up late into the early morning to study for a test the next day,

OR

B) Getting up early in the morning to study.

What do you think?

modest mouse

2007-09-22T12:52:00.001-04:00

Now I don't want to sound like a prude, but I think that this is pretty cool. It's called a Burqini, (get it? Burqua + Bikini=Burqini) and it is the new swim wear for Muslim women. It was apparently developed by a Muslim woman who was tired of swimming wearing massive clothes and bed sheets and such. Those things get pretty heavy when they are wet.

I realize that there are some not-so-nice things that Muslim women have to deal with in their culture, but I really wonder if maybe we as Christians could take a few cues from them. They take modesty seriously, something I feel that many Christian women really have no idea about. Now, in Muslim culture modesty is enforced in a fairly un-loving way, which is not something I am condoning, so please don't get me wrong. Don't worry - I'm not suggesting that all Christian women should wear parkas and snowsuits all the time, but I think that it is something that needs to be addressed.

I'm going to make a few assumptions in this post. 1st, the reader is a Christian and wants to follow God as he has revealed Himself to us in the Bible, and 2nd that the Bible tells us to be modest and to live modestly.

I'm gonna just give it to you straight up ladies: Guys struggle with lust. They struggle with lusting after you. I lust after you. That's a pretty intense statement, and maybe I'll regret it later, but I'm tired of complaining about it to my male friends, and I think something needs to be said to the women of the Church without glossing it over.
Now, some of us struggle less than others, but it's a fact. There is no guy who doesn't have to fight against it. It's not cool, it's gross, , it's perverted, but it's true.
Maybe your thinking "yeah, thanks Ryan, now we all know that you are a pervert, it's not like I didn't know that I was supposed to be modest"
What I'm saying is, if everyone knows that they are supposed to be modest, why don't they do something about it? Maybe you are doing something about it - I have many good friends who put a lot of effort into being modest, and I thank them for it. One thing I ask: If you do have it figured out, if you really understand what I am talking about, please tell other girls about it. Don't let your friends leave their house until they put some clothes on. It sounds crazy, but I am dead serious, this is important stuff. The Bible talks about keeping each other accountable and pushing each other to serve God better. (Hebrew 10: 25-26)
If you are unsure about an article of clothing, err on the side of caution, please. If you have a shirt or a skirt or a bathing suit or something that your are thinking "hmm...well, it's not that bad", please throw it away or burn it or something, because it is that bad, plain and simple.

At this point, I should probably say something about the guy's responsibility to the woman. I'm not blaming all females for my sexual sins. I'll admit that I don't try as hard as I should to control my eyes and my mind. The point that I am trying to make is that it's really flipping hard, and it's is spiritually draining. It is hard to focus on praising God and being a witness for Him when 90% of your Spiritual energy is being used up trying to control your eyes and thoughts.
Another aspect of modesty that is rarely talked about: What are your clothes saying to the world around you? What subliminal message are you sending when you are wearing a low cut top or a short skirt. What about if you are wearing a skimpy top with something else underneath to make it presentable? Or the short skirt with the leggings underneath which seams to be the new thing. Now I'm probably making a few enemies here, because I'm not sure if this is a widespread opinion, and it's possible that I'm just hyper-conservative or something. But to me, those things indicate a sort of unwillingness to commit. It's dualism. You still want to be stylish and "cute" but also want to be modest. There's nothing wrong with looking good, but I think there is more to modesty than just covering your body up.
Dictionary.com defines modesty as:

1.	the quality of being modest; freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc.

2.	regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.

3.	simplicity; moderation.

Like I said, I am open to debate on this one, it's still something I'm trying to figure out myself.

The trouble with this topic is that there are various opinions on what modesty is and what modest clothing is. The main idea I had when I started to write this post was to begin in a small way to open up the lines of communication between Christian males and females - especially the youth. It's a difficult and sometimes awkward thing to talk about, but I think if it was not so much of taboo topic, it would be much less of a problem. My thought it was most women simply don't realize the magnitude of the problem because they have never been inside the male mind.
I think for now, I will leave it at that. I may write more about this later on, it is a pretty huge topic to cover in one post. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this, especially if you are a girl.

mission impossible.

2007-09-19T10:29:00.001-04:00

As part of my physical education class this semester (yes, I am in University, and yes, I did say phys. ed.) I am required to make a mission statement for myself. I thought it was a bit of a silly idea at first, and was a little bit insulted that they assumed that I hadn't already made one for myself. As I worked on putting my mission statement into words, however, it became a very interesting exercise.

When you have to put all your life's ambition into 2 sentences, it can be quite difficult. I was just going to go with the word "others", thinking that would be sufficient, but then I saw a number of ways that "others" could be misunderstood.
It is important to be clear and specific, and that anyone who reads the sentence can understand the full meaning of the words. At first, it seems like an easy thing to do, but the more I work at it, the more I am discovering that it is not.
Here is what I came up with.

"To live humbly and to walk faithfully and actively with God."

Right now I am trying to decide whether I should replace "humbly" with "modestly", or whether I should put both in.

"To live humbly and modestly, walking actively and faithfully with God"

"To live modestly, walking actively and faithfully with God"

I think that the word "humbly" holds more meaning in this day and age.

Of course, walking actively and faithfully with God could mean different things to different people. I suppose that this exercise is more for my benefit than anyone else's, so I think I will leave it.

In conclusion, having a laptop at school makes me feel very wealthy and...western. I'm not sure I like it, even though it helps me a whole lot with studying and getting things done.

Call it torture, call it University.

2007-09-13T19:25:00.000-04:00

Just kidding, University rules.

---

I'm not really sure what I'm going to post. That's often what I do with this blog...I decide I want to update and then I get on here and type whatever comes to mind. At the moment, I'm not really having much inspiration. Usually I have something buried in the back of my mind that comes to the forefront when I am confronted with the glow of a computer screen. This, I think, is not a good thing. You probably deserve more thought and effort as a reader of this blog. I apologize for being so inconsiderate.

---

Today I had a musical breakthrough. About a year and a half ago I purchased John Coltrane's groundbreaking record A Love Supreme. This album really interested me because Coltrane composed it as a gesture of thankfulness to his Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. It's a jazz album. One of the most respected and well known saxophone players of all time was a Christian, and dedicated his work to God. That had a pretty stark contrast with the rest of the jazz world at the time. Jazz is a world in which music is god, and there is no room for anything else. You play jazz or you get out my way. I found the concept of a groundbreaking Christian jazz musician very refreshing.

I'll share with you a bit of the liner notes from the album:

"Dear Listeners:

All praise be to God to whom all praise is due.

Let us pursue Him in the righteous path. Yes it is true: "seek and ye shall find". Only through Him can we know the most wondrous bequeathal.

During the year 1957, I experienced, by the grace of God, a spiritual awakening which was to lead me to a richer, fuller, more productive life. At that time, in gratitude, I humbly asked to be given the means and privilege to make others happy through music. i fell that has been granted through His grace. All praise to God.

As time and events moved on, a period of irresolution did prevail. I entered into a phase which was contradictory to the pledge and away from the esteemed path: but thankfully, now and again through the unerring and merciful hand of God, I do perceive and have been duly re-informed of His Omnipotence, and of our need for, and dependence on Him. At this time I would like to tell you that No matter what...it is with God. He is gracious and merciful. His way is in Love, through which we all are. It is truly - A love Supreme.

This album is a humble offering to Him. An attempt to say "thank you God" through our work, even as we do in our hearts and with our tongues. may He help and strengthen all men in every good endeavor."

The album is divided into 4 parts - Acknowledgment, Resolution, Pursuance, and Psalm. Absolutely beautiful.

Anyway, I've listened to this album many many times, trying to understand, musically, what was so great about it. I kind of hated it. But I kept listening, over and over, trying to figure out what it was all about. Today I finally got it.

This may mean nothing to you at all, but if you are into jazz, you will understand what I mean.

love,

Ryan

hokie bedokie

2007-08-27T22:38:00.001-04:00

That looks really funny when you type it.

---

So as I was saying, hokie bedokie what a summer. Camp was really fun. I learned lots, and hopefully I taught some people things here and there.
It's hard to say exactly what it was that I learned, because I didn't consciously learn very many things. I know that I learned many things and I grew in my faith, but nothing specific really stands out to me. Maybe that's a little strange, but I'm ok with it. I'd love to be able to share it with you, and maybe one day I'll be able to, but for now I'll just say this: God is good, all the time. Prayer is more powerful than I can imagine, and love covers a multitude of sins. All fairly random statements, yet connected in an extremely beautiful and powerful way.

One thing I can say for sure is that it's really hard to find time to blog when you are away at camp for a whole summer.

---

Tomorrow I'm headed off to New York with Scott and Pete, we are doing sort of a "end of camp unwind and have no responsibilities" road trip. Hello Chef Boyardee for three meals a day. Hello trying to get to NY without looking at a map. Hello not booking any hotels or any accommodations in advance. Hello buying I heart NY shirts and taking touristy pictures all over the city. Hello not really caring where you end up because you are just hanging out. Hello adventure. In the timeless words of the Beastie Boys: No sleep till' Brooklyn

when it rains, it pours.

2007-07-14T15:20:00.000-04:00

In the Kingdom of Heaven, things are rarely what they appear to be.

---

I am the servant of a God who cares enough about me to take the time to teach me.

---

God is good. All the time.

Love,

Capo

the sprouts are growing

2007-07-06T21:47:00.000-04:00

so i'm home from my first week as a Staffer at Campfire. It was intense...even though Sprouts week is only 3 days long, it was extremely tiring. I think that this is mostly because I was trying to figure out my role on staff, and what my responsibilities were, which was stressful. Nautica is doing an awesome job of teaching me how things go, but I forget how to do stuff lots and I mess up my words when i'm talking to people.

In many ways the Sprout campers who came to camp this week reminded me of me. They messed up their words a lot, they couldn't take care of themselves, they had a hard time paying attention when people talked to them, and they (for the most part) tried very hard to please.

Campfire is a humbling experience, an encouraging experience, and a tiring experience. It's an experience. And it is good.

---

I love learning things that I already knew.

---

Pray had, pray often.

love,

Capo

a race to the finish

2007-06-27T08:22:00.000-04:00

I don't really get it when people apologize for not updating their blog on a regular basis. It's like they have offended me by having more important things to do then share their thoughts hopes and dreams with the whole world.
Seriously, I think I can handle it. Not that I don't enjoy your blog or anything, but I'll still be your friend if you only update every 6 months.

---

Today I am moving to camp. I am feeling incredibly excited, nervous, happy, sad, nostalgic, grown-up, unprepared, weak, strong, and most of all blessed. I need your prayer. Campfire! needs your prayers. Staff needs your prayers. Counselors need your prayers. Campers need your prayers.

Why are you still reading this?

Love,

Ryan

tv ends

2007-06-16T14:09:00.001-04:00

I just came across this article...it's brilliant. If only it were true...

trim ninjas

2007-06-14T18:32:00.001-04:00

Today was my last day working as a trim ninja before I start officially being a staff member at camp. It's a really good feeling.

I had a really great time working for Tim, with Greg and Edmund and Scott. It was pretty sweet. My knuckles are scarred from getting rocks thrown at them, I'm alot better at comebacks thanks to Greg, and I can trim almost any bow window you can throw at me. Oh yeah, and I learned how to golf.

---

I'm a little bit nervous about being a staff member...it's a pretty huge responsibility. I would appreciate your prayers.

Dear Satan:

2007-06-04T22:52:00.000-04:00

You were trying pretty hard today. Thankfully the Spirit showed me who you are in time. You just can't admit defeat can you? My Father would never tell me to do something without giving me the tools that I need to do it.

You are a filthy liar, please go back to hell where you belong.

Sincerely,

Ryan

Beautiful People

2007-05-30T19:46:00.000-04:00

I just got back from Streetlight Ministries where I spoke on "Why We Need a Saviour" at the year-end Kid's Club.

It was a humbling experience, to say the least.

---

I think God is pushing me into the ground to teach me a lesson. I definitely need it.

Thanks, God.

---
man: Hi. You look like my nephew. Is your name Peter?

me: no, my name is Ryan.

man: well, you are not my nephew then. Do you love the Lord Ryan?

me: yes, I do.

man: Then you are my brother.

I want to be in the light

2007-05-25T19:15:00.000-04:00

I don't really care if people think that I'm a Jesus Freak.

I just bought DC Talk's Jesus Freak

dear catastrophe waitress:

2007-05-21T10:22:00.000-04:00

It could have been a brilliant career.

---

Last night I went to Streetlight with my youth group for the evening drop-in service. It was awesome! The atmosphere there is so loving. People really care about you. I was really struck by the joy that the people took in the Lord. I was talking to one woman named Evelyn who was so interesting. She would bring everything we talked about back to the Lord. She kept saying over and over "I really do love the Lord!" and then she would smile really big.

I love people like that.

I really do love the Lord.

love,

Ryan

A blog

2007-05-10T20:46:00.000-04:00

wow, these last couple of weeks have flown by! Working all the time makes it really difficult to check the email and update the blog.

Maybe I am really out of shape, but work is hitting me really hard this year. Usually when I start after the school year and it takes me about a week to adjust to the physical activity and different sleeping pattern...but it's been almost 3 weeks and I am still completely exhausted at the end of every day. I get home from work at roughly 7:00 and a have about 2 hours to get all me stuff done before I crash. By the end of the week I'm so tired that it takes me all weekend to become somewhat not tired again, and by then it's time to go back to work. It's crazy...I don't know how people do this all the time.

I'm not complaining, I actually really enjoy my job, but a little more sleep would be great.

Oh well, only a month till camp. Then I can be exhausted in a different sort of way.

---

Showed up late. Showed up late for work. Showed up late for school. Showed up late for meeting. Showed up late for date. Showed up late for church. Showed up late for youth group. Showed up late for friends youth group. Showed up late for choir. Showed up late for interview. Showed up late for coffee. Showed up late for nothing in particular. Showed up late on purpose. Showed up late for breakfast, lunch, supper. Showed up too late.

blurring the lines.

2007-04-16T15:27:00.000-04:00

The Reformed tradition is one that is always striving to stick to Biblical truth. Everything we believe is rooted in the fact that the Bible is the infallible word of God. Our doctrine is rooted in Scripture alone, which hopefully makes it as close to the truth as possible.

In order for us to better understand the Scriptures, early Reformers wrote summaries and confessions such as the Heidelberg Catechism, the Belgic Confession, and the Canons of Dort. These documents help us to learn and explain what they found to be the truth in the Word. These are wonderful documents, and can help us understand what we read in the Bible.

I wonder, however, if we sometimes put too much weight on these documents. No one in the Reformed Church will come out and say that they believe that the confessions are inerrant, but I think that sometimes we treat them as if they are. I say this because in the last few weeks I have been to several Youth Group Bible Studies or similar events where leaders would look to the Catechism or Belgic Confession before turning to Scripture in order to answer a question or start a discussion. Why do we not turn to Scripture first? Sometimes it is easier to look to the Catechism, because it is so nicely laid out, but it is so much more fullfilling when the knowledge comes straight from the Word, and we can be fully confident that it is 100% true.

What about Catechism classes? It is important for young people to know what they believe, and be able to defend it...but does it really make sense to memorize a book that was written by man? Why not go straight to the source? Catechism is a useful tool to teach the Scriptures, and it should be just that, a tool.

Here is another example: The Sunday before I left for Kentucky, I heard a sermom entitled "The Comfort of the Catechism". It was in the afternoon, so the Minister was using Lords Day 1 as a "text".

"Q. What is your only comfort in life and death? A. That I am not my own but belong with body and soul both in life and death to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ who, with His precious blood has paid for all my sins, freed me from all the power of the Devil, and so preserves me in such a way that without the will of my heavenly Father not a hair can fall from my head. Yes, all things must work together for my Salvation. Therefore, by His Holy Spirit, he also assures me of eternal life and makes me heartily willing and ready from now on to live for Him."

I typed it out from memory, and I'm sure if you are Reformed you probably didn't need to read it.
These are beautiful words, but it is not the "Comfort of the Catechism" that we read here. It is the comfort of Scripture, as summarized in the Catechism.
My fear is that we have begun to blur the lines between summary and Scripture. It makes me uncomfortable when I hear these documents quoted, when Scripture verses are readily available.
Personally, I have never found any errors in any of our confessions, and I don't think anyone has for many years. I do, however, find it hard to believe that there are none. They are not inspired, and therefore should not be trusted to be 100% accurate.

I say this not to be controversial but out of a desire to serve God and study, learn, and teach His word in the best way possible-the way taught in Scripture.

yearm.

2007-04-11T15:20:00.000-04:00

So it's exam time, and I have been left with a striking lack of things to say.

the spirit of rock & roll

2007-04-04T12:32:00.000-04:00

Last night I went with a bunch of cool people to see Jars of Clay. It was fun. I am not a really huge fan of Jars of Clay. To be honest I haven't heard much of their music, maybe 4 or 5 songs. But they put on a really nice show, and even though I didn't recognize most of it, it was fun.

Now, I found out something about myself last night at this show. I found out that I am very critical. I knew this before to a certain extent, but it became really obvious to me during this show.
This band called NeedtoBreathe opened up the show. I didn't like them very much, and from the moment they came on stage I kept finding new things about them that I didn't like. The drummer was too loud, the guitar was too quiet, the bassist's pants were too tight, the vocalist sounded like he ate gravel for breakfast, and the keyboard was extremely cliche.
All these things were true, but it wasn't until after the show when I was talking to some friends that I realized how truly critical I have become of music, bands, and the people in them. While I was listening to a guitar solo thinking "dang...that guy has no subtlty, when is he gonna stop? Why is he so quiet? Doesn't he realize that he has poor technique?" my friend Ben is yelling himself hoarse because he is so stoked about the rock&roll.
When did I become like this? When did I become so preocupied with playing "well" and "tastefully" that I stoped caring about ROCK and putting your soul into something you believe in. For the entire show I couldn't let myself get carried away in the rock because I couldnt' stop judging the people on stage.

I have become a true music snob. I am unable to enjoy the true spirit of rock & roll.

I can't wait to get out of jazz school.

clap your hands say yeah.

2007-04-02T14:26:00.000-04:00

so, i'm listening to Clap Yout Hands Say Yeah.

Either my headphones are broken, or that man has the most annoying voice ever.

I think I like it.

Living Worship, Pt. 9

2007-03-30T12:09:00.000-04:00

Hey everybody.

Living Worship is this Saturday, March 31st. It starts at 7:30. You should probably come.

This time we are being hosted by the Youth Group at Emmanuel Canadian Reformed Church in Guelph.

Rev. Christo Heiberg will be speaking on "Christ's Death and Resurrection"

Directions and other important info

Please join us for a time of singing, meditation, learning, and fellowship with God's people.

love,

Ryan

being for the benefit of Mr. Kite

2007-03-24T10:56:00.000-04:00

As a citizen of Canada and the world, I consider it my duty to keep myself informed in the world of politics. I want to be sure that I know where I stand on certain issues that change the way that we as a nation live.
In an effort to do this, I try to watch the news on CTV and the CBC and other news networks. Programs such as Politics with Don Newman, Mike Duffy Live, The National and other news programs, usually whichever one is on when I find a few spare moments.
I have found it increasingly frustrating to try and find an objective news report. The more I immerse myself into the issues, the more similarities I see between Politics with Don Newman and Entertainment Tonight. All people really seem to care about is controversy and scandal. Politicians have become nothing more than celebrities, and the voters are their fan clubs. Nobody wants to hear the facts, because that isn't interesting. If it isn't sensational, I don't care. Make it a sensation.
Maybe the world of politics has always been this way, and I am only now beginning to realize it, but I find it disgusting. I will continue to follow politics, but I am going to start finding other, hopefully more objective sources of information.

Any recommendations?

Kentucky

2007-03-19T15:00:00.000-04:00

Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? Are they not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong? -James 2:5-7

That's what God taught me last week. I have spent my whole life thinking that bringing the poor up to the level of prosperity that I live in would be the greatest, most noble thing to do. But I have insulted the poor. True nobility lives in a mobile home and works in a coal mine.

all the hype that your money can buy

2007-03-09T11:50:00.000-05:00

Tonight at the stroke of midnight, I and about 37 other people will be stuffing ourselves into 3 vans and driving for 15 hours to Harlan, Kentucky. We'll be spending a week there working, praying, and serving.

Please pray for us, that we would be a blessing to the people there, and that we will really be a light, sharing the love of Jesus with them. Pray that we will have courage.

Our theme text for the week is Romans 12. If you have a minute, read through it and pray that we will be able to do all that stuff.

good night, and good luck.

2007-03-06T16:17:00.000-05:00

"Good luck on your mission trip" he said to me. I looked at him searchingly. No, he wasn't kidding. "Thank you..." I mumbled, and walked out the door.

Good luck. Somehow I don't think mission trips operate on luck.

sister

2007-03-03T11:14:00.001-05:00

If there is one thing my little sister is good at doing, it's making coffee.

She's good at other stuff too, like knitting, and talking, and writing, and painting.

I guess she's pretty cool.

Thanks for hanging out with me all the time.

---

I just came across this article.

Interesting.

It takes 8 men to restrain these people? Sounds like almost supernatural power. I want to say "demon possession", that that would be politically incorrect.

Living Worship

2007-03-01T12:51:00.000-05:00

*ahem*

Living Worship

Is coming to a town near you! Come join us on Saturday, March 3rd at 7:30 for an evening of singing, prayer, learning, and fellowship. Plus, free drinks!

This event is being held at Tyndale University College & Seminary. Check out the web site for directions/more info.

Sing to the LORD a new song;
Sing to the LORD, all the earth.

all God's children singing

2007-02-26T13:14:00.000-05:00

Today I sat and talked with James for a long time about lots of awesome things. It's so awesome to sit with a good friend and share scripture with each other. Psalm 89, Psalm 101, 1 Corinthians 4, Psalm 24.
God is good.

---

I have all the money I need for Kentucky. It all sort of fell into my lap. I knew it would, but somehow I am still suprised. I am so stoked for this trip. God is going to use us in awesome ways, I know it.

we can swim in your kidney

2007-02-21T20:50:00.000-05:00

I am a whiner. I don't know why. I think I like it when people feel sorry for me. Maybe I think that complaining about a situation or event will make it better. I don't often consider suffering to be pure joy.
I don't think I know what suffering really is. In fact, when things are put in perspective, I believe that what I think is suffering is really very minor discomfort. "Consider your minor discomforts to be pure joy, brethren"

---

I was talking to a good friend of mine today about Lent. Lent is good. Lent is something that I want to be a part of. I think I'll give up TV for Lent. Movies, TV shows, all that stuff. Aha, even better, no YouTube OR TV.

That's it, no YouTube or Television for Lent.

live the faith

2007-02-15T18:04:00.000-05:00

Today I went to Live the Faith Bible Study at Guido de'Bres High School. I was asked to speak on "What is means to be a Christian", so that's what I did, emphasizing the call to have faith and to tell others about Christ. It's a pretty basic fundamental topic, but I enjoyed putting it together, digging up all different Scripture verses about it. The Bible is so cool.

It was really fun. I just hope that everyone else enjoyed it as much as I did.

Guido is a pretty neat place. I don't care what anyone says.

yes

2007-02-14T08:22:00.000-05:00

SNOW DAY!

Snow morning anyway. Mohawk has canceled all it's morning classes, and it is so far undecided about the afternoon ones. I'm incredibly excited.

I'm not just excited about missing a day of school. I'm just thrilled that I'm actually getting a snow day...it's never happened to me before! I've been home schooled my whole life, so I have never experienced this unexpected pleasure.

Anyway, I'm gonna go and bask.

2007-02-13T19:04:00.000-05:00

a friend that sticks like peanut butter.

2007-02-09T16:08:00.000-05:00

A friend is someone who you can talk with until 1 in the morning without noticing that time is passing.

Thanks.

---

Silica Gel
Silica Gel
Do not eat
The Silica Gel
For if you do
You'll end up feeling terribly ill

-A poem by Ryan

When There Is Nothing Left To Burn

2007-02-06T15:27:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I get tired of music and I don't feel like listening to it anymore. This is not good, because I am a music student, and one could say that it is my full time job to eat, sleep, and breathe music. I sometimes forget how amazing music is and start to get bored with it. Maybe you know this feeling as well.
If you do, I recomend following these 3 simple steps:

1. Buy Radiohead's Hail to the Thief*
2. Insert into CD player or other media playing device.
3. Turn it up as loud as it will go, lie down on your bed and close your eyes.

Your music woes will be gone within the first 15 seconds of 2+2=5.

*Hail to the Thief can be subsituted with any other Radiohead album, and in extreme cases Sufjan Steven's Illinoise or Star's Set Yourself On Fire.

anyone can play guitar pt. 2

2007-02-03T11:15:00.001-05:00

I have decided to stop hating things, because I can't think of anything more useless than hating things.

anyone can play guitar

2007-02-01T16:12:00.000-05:00

Today I skipped a boring class to go see the third year music students put on a performance in the Mohawk Theatre.
There was this one guy named Alex. He's a piano player. I see him around quite a bit, but I never talk to him, because prep people don't really talk to third year people.
Anyway, he didn't announce what he was going to play before he played it.

I hate it when people do that.

Its sort of like they are saying "I would tell you who wrote this, but that would mean I have to stop and pay attention to you."

just another fool in a line

2007-01-31T15:02:00.000-05:00

why am I always so flippin thirsty?

God is good...All the time.

2007-01-29T13:58:00.000-05:00

so, I am now officially "Assistant Head Counsellor" at Campfire Summer Bible Camp. Awesome.